Why do I let it paralyze me?

I sat quietly sipping my wine and nodding so people wouldn’t learn of my dark secret. I could feel my gaze shift downward to avoid eye contact. I was certain people were going to start asking questions. My mind continued to race with possible answers. Could I simply deflect the question and bring up the game? Would I have to explain how I really felt? Even more, why is it such a freaking big deal?

Once I get to a  place where I can articulate my thoughts, I’ll share. Right now, I just wonder why women, especially, make this such a big part of their identity.