Can you believe it?

Can you believe six months ago at this moment I was soaking my feet for a pedicure while enjoying a mimosa in Las Vegas as I was getting ready for my wedding?  Still sounds a little surreal to me too.

When I returned a married woman, I kept waiting for that moment where I’d feel different.   Where I’d feel like a married woman.  Well, I have given up on that change to hit me because I think the that moment has passed and I didn’t realize it at the time.

Let me explain.   When The Thinker and I first moved in together I struggled with the transition.  There were some nights I wasn’t sure I was even ready to come home after getting off work.  I’d sit in the park near our apartment and read or talk on the phone with my sister.  It’s not that I didn’t want to see him.  I just hadn’t gotten use to living with someone.  I had to adjust to him home before me and ready to talk the moment I walked in the door.  I had to adjust to not having any real “me time” and doing whatever my little heart desired when I got home.  It was like my little routine had been thrown out of whack.

There were nights when I was afraid I was going to break us because of that…that I was somehow beyond repair.  The rational side of me knew this was a normal response.  It had been years since I had shared living space with someone else, yet alone someone I loved with every ounce of my being. 

The moment I agreed to move in with The Thinker I had made the decision that he was the one.  He was the man I’d spend the rest of my life with.  It was as if that moment was when something changed  - I was married in my heart on May 1, 2009 when we moved in together.  It just took us until January 22, 2011 to make it official under the eyes of the law and with our families.

Back to six months ago, I was just ready.  My heart ached that my grandpa wasn’t there to hold my hand and make all the family-related anxiety go away.  I was so eager to marry the man who met every requirement on my checklist (well, all but one), but I knew his embrace would have the calming effect I needed.  I was a woman on a mission as I walked down the hall to meet him for pictures before our ceremony.   

I was ready to start the next chapter in my life.  And thus far, it’s shaping up to be a wonderful love story.