It's official

It’s official. According to the state of Nevada, The Thinker and I are now husband and wife. I know. I know. It’s taken me a while to touch base with all of you. Sorry about that.

Married life is rather anticlimactic. You spend all of this time working to make one day perfect and then that day is over in a matter of minutes. After drinking a white wine spritzer upon returning from hair, makeup and nails, everything just became a blur. No, I didn’t have one too many spritzers. You just find yourself on a tight timeline and so many people running up to get their face time with you that you don’t always get to step back and admire everything.

Stepping back after a week and reflecting on everything, I wish some things would have gone differently or that I would have had enough foresight to make adjustments. Trust me I don’t have any regrets in saying “I do” to the man I love because The Thinker makes all right in my world. God knows my meltdown the Friday night before the ceremony proves he can make all right when his arms wrapped around me was the only thing that could make the tears stop.

As expected, my biggest stress was my family. Leading up to everything, I continuously expressed reservations to The Thinker. I was most stressed that of the small guest list his friends and family comprised about 75% of the guests. I tried to remind myself that it was quality over quantity but that doesn’t really fix it when you looking at a room full of people and the only two there just for you are C-Mac and his wife.

I am so grateful that he made the trip out. Otherwise, I would have kicked off the wedding weekend with no one on “Team Miss Scorpio.” Why you ask? My family was too busy walking The Strip and taking pictures with Midget Elvis. (I’m not making this up. There are pictures.) It left me so crushed that the purpose of the trip was about celebrating my marriage to The Thinker and they’re hanging out with Yoda and Midget Elvis on The Strip.

Through the years, I have learned not to ask much if anything from my family because they often disappoint and I grew tired of the disappointment. It’s just that this time I was holding out hope that they would recognize the occasion and rise to the challenge. Looks, like I’m still waiting…

And for the biggest kicker, my dad made the trip out to Las Vegas. In each phone call leading up to the big day, I’d ask “are you planning to attend?” And the response was always, “I might just surprise you.”

Now really? Is this the answer you give to a bride? Even more so is this the answer you give to the bride when you’re her father?

I didn’t think so. I was 99 percent convinced he wouldn’t be there given his track record and dismissed him as a guest. I didn’t order any flowers for him. I planned for my mom to give me away. I didn’t plan for a father-daughter dance. I planned as if he wouldn’t be there.

To this day, I’m really not sure how I feel about him attending. There was a piece of my heart that was happy he finally stepped up and did what a father should do. But this other side of me was angry that he thought he could just swoop in hours before the ceremony to be greeted with open arms. I was also pissed off at him for making me feel guilty or conflicted for having my mom walk me down the aisle and give me away.

Lastly, I struggled the most without having my grandpa there. I needed him to keep everyone else in line. I needed him to joke and lighten the mood when I was on the verge of tears. I needed him to walk me down the aisle. I needed to have that dance with him. And I needed him to just say “It’s going to be okay. I love you.”

I want to believe that when my grandma’s brooch pricked me during the ceremony, it was their way of reminding me they were there watching over me. If only they could have found a much easier way. I mean that prick drew blood.

Now that I’m back in Washington, DC and it’s all over, I go back to that feeling of anti-climatic. You spend all of that time and energy. It happens so quickly and then nothing. I know that sounds bad, but otherwise nothing has changed. The Thinker and I are still the same as we were before we got married, which is what I wanted.